Late Night Whispers
by thatsformetoknow
Summary: In which Rin visits Haru at night and his friends are worried for his safety at the amount of love bites and bruising he is receiving nightly. Haru begins to dread swim practice and he hates that Rin can make him feel this way. Hates that he can't bring himself to push Rin away either. Hates that he loves it.


I.

Haru has been home for a little while now, he's been cooking his mackerel, as usual. He's gotten out of his bath and now he's cooking, it's the same every night and he likes it that way.

What he doesn't like is being interrupted.

He grumbles slightly as he hears a knock at the door and doesn't move, knowing that Makoto or Nagisa will just come on in.

'Nanase?' He hears and he stops; he would know that voice anywhere.

He walks to the door, seemingly unaffected, and he opens it, ignoring the fact that he is only in his swim shorts and an apron.

'Rin.' He says flatly as a greeting.

'Haru.'

Haru waits for Rin to speak, to give an explanation for his visit but he receives nothing of the sort, so he stands to the side and lets Rin come in.

Rin idly glances around Haru's house and follows him to the kitchen, where he is trying not to burn his mackerel which has been on the heat for far too long so he quickly moves the pan.

'Mackerel?' Haru asks, getting a plate out of his cupboard.

'No.' Rin replies.

'Why are you here, Rin?'

'Do I need a reason?'

'You made your feelings pretty clear when we last met.' Haru says, remembering vividly how Rin had tossed the trophy onto the floor and walked away from them, even scoffing that Haru still hung around with Makoto and Nagisa.

'Fancied a chat with an old friend?'

'We both know that's not true. If you're here for a race-'

'No. I'm not here for a race, not today.'

'Then what?'

Rin doesn't say anything, just watches silently as Haru seasons the fish. He steps closer to Haru to which Haru instinctively moves backwards.

Rin steps closer again, and Haru has abandoned the fish, looking at Rin, unworried, perhaps unjustly.

Rin comes forward so that they're almost touching, his face unreadable.

'Rin?' He questions softly as Rin comes yet again closer so that he can feel Rin's breath on his face now.

Rin is silent and doesn't break eye contact with Haru as he leans in and kisses him.

Haru freezes as their lips meet, his body is rigid and he can't quite bring himself to push Rin away. Rin's lips are softly moving against his and to his surprise so are Haru's. Still half in shock, it doesn't register for a few moments that Rin's arms have snaked around Haru's waist and are un-tying his apron.

'Rin, what-?' Haru starts, but Rin's lips are back on his and Haru has never felt like this before, not knowing whether he likes it or not.

Honestly, he wants to push Rin off of him and run as far away as possible, but he can't, can't make himself. Rin's lips are soft and this is new, new and not necessarily nice. Not necessarily not nice either though.

He barely notices as Rin leads him out of the kitchen and into Haru's room, not bothering to wonder how Rin knew where his bedroom is, just hyper aware of Rin's hands on him, all over him, his calloused fingertips running down his spine and soft lips caressing his own.

He complies when he feels Rin's tongue parting his lips, not knowing what exactly to do, but doing it anyway.

The next thing he knows, Rin's shirt is on the floor. Was it his hands that put it there? He can't be sure.

But Rin's holding him, and he's practically in Rin's lap now, Rin's lips creating a wet trail down Haru's jaw line, down his neck and it's wholly unpleasant.

Haru's hands are in Rin's hair, not entirely sure when they got there, but here they are, tugging gently at burgundy strands as Rin bites down softly into Haru's neck, not enough to leave a mark but enough to make Haru shudder.

Rin's hands are tracing patterns on Haru's back and Haru doesn't know how to handle this, doesn't think he wants it but doesn't think he doesn't either. Doesn't want Rin to stop but at the same time wants to get as far away as he possibly can.

Rin's nibbling on Haru's ear lobe now, blowing cool air onto wet skin making Haru shiver, and his fingertips are at the waistband of Haru's swim shorts and Haru doesn't know what he wants.

He's shaking and he doesn't know if it's from fear or anticipation, perhaps from the way Rin's tongue is flicking over Haru's nipple and making him feel things he's never felt before.

Rin's hand is ghosting over Haru's erection (wait, erection?!) and Haru's lips are parting as soft sounds leave them at every touch.

Haru's swim shorts have found their way to the bottom of the bed, carelessly tossed and Haru can't find it in him to care because he's moaning now, actually moaning because all he can feel is Rin, all over him, his hands, his lips, and it's just _Rin._

And it's bliss.

Part of him hates it, wants the touches gone, prefers to be alone, but he's pushing that part to the back of his mind because his mind is clouded and Rin's fingers are heaven, Haru never knew he could feel like this before.

Rin's trousers and boxers are joining the disarray of clothes on Haru's floor but Haru is too focused on Rin, his naked body now before him. He's never thought of anyone this way before but he can't tear his gaze away.

Rin's asking him if he likes what he sees with a smirk and Haru doesn't answer because he doesn't, not really, he doesn't _like_ Rin's naked body exactly, he's just overcome by this feeling, this feeling that he can't quite explain.

And while that little part of him still doesn't see how he's enjoying this (is he enjoying this?) and thinks that naked Rin should be far, far away from naked Haru and that clothes are for wearing, he can't. He can't and he doesn't because in a way he _wants_ it, _wants_ Rin and is that even the right word? Is that how to describe how Haru is feeling?

He doesn't know and he's finding it hard to think right now because Rin's hands are on him, not just him though, his hands are _there_ and it's euphoric, and disgusting, and uncomfortable, and – Jesus – it's wonderful.

Haru thinks he knows where this is going, and it's not like he doesn't know how it works it's just that he's absolutely terrified. Terrified of _it,_ of Rin even, but even more terrified because he knows that he wouldn't be pushing Rin away, he knows how those moans would slip from his lips and he's scared, God is he scared.

His body goes stiff when he feels Rin's fingers somewhere else _there,_ because he's not ready, not ready for _any of this_.

And he knows he won't stop Rin, he can't stop Rin, and does he even want to?

It feels strange and he doesn't like it, and he feels the tip of Rin's finger inside of him and he squirms, he thinks that he's giving the wrong impression; he doesn't want this, does he?

And then all he can feel is cold, cold and he doesn't know what on earth could be this cold but it doesn't have the right to be _there where Rin's fingers are_ but then he thinks that it's not hurting him anymore, that tip of Rin's finger and then it's out – thank God – but then its back in again, and Haru doesn't know what to do with himself because it feels awful, having Rin's finger inside of him.

Then there's another, another inside him, out and in again and it feels awf- oh God - maybe not so awful after all.

Haru can see the smirk on Rin's face at that moan he let out, and he can feel Rin trying to brush his fingers against that spot again, and – fu – it does feel good, and then it doesn't.

It's all a blur from there really, Haru can't even see straight, let alone think it. But he realises that Rin is fully inside of him, _Rin,_ that is, _that part of Rin,_ and it feels like Haru is being split open.

If this is sex then Haru doesn't want it, it feels bad, intrusive and it's completely disgusting and uncomfortable.

Until he hits that one spot and _why_ does that feel so damn good?

Because it's awful until he hits _there_ and then it's completely euphoric, because it feels _good,_ not even that. A kind of good that Haru's never felt before and he finds himself thinking that maybe he wouldn't mind feeling it again and Rin's hands are back on Haru, Haru _there, other there again,_ and he's stroking him and oh does it feel good.

He can hear himself moaning, and he doesn't have time to feel shocked let alone disgusted because Rin is moaning too and it sounds so... so... Haru doesn't know how to describe it but he thinks that he could listen to Rin making those noises for the rest of his life.

And then Rin is spilling into Haru and he's stroking him faster, aiming for _that spot_ every thrust and Haru is spilling too, onto himself, onto Rin's hand and it's amazing, it's complete and utter bliss and they're moaning together and Haru feels so unbelievably good, and sleepy.

And then Rin stops, and he pulls out of Haru, Haru lies on the bed, catching his breath, trying to process what on earth just happened and then Rin is there too, lying next to him, pulling the duvet around them and their breaths are evening out and then all Haru knows is sleep.

Then suddenly there's bright light and groggily he realises that the night has flown by and it's the sunlight streaming through his open curtains, and his eyes blink open and Rin is gone.

Haru can't say he's surprised, not really, he hadn't expected him to be there, but how can he be sure that it happened at all? That it wasn't some sick twisted dream his subconscious conjured up and then he sees his swim trunks tossed on the floor and he knows.

II.

Gou has booked them a joint practice with Rin's team and Haru doesn't know whether to be pleased or worried.

He knows that Makoto has noticed, noticed he's more distracted than usual, that he's barely listening to a word anyone says and it's true.

Thoughts are swimming around in his head, drowning him, barely giving him any room to breathe.

He'd said he was fine, however, when Makoto had asked because really, what was he supposed to say?

He only hopes he can get a chance to talk to Rin today at practice.

He can't see Rin yet, he's not listening to Gou, and he can see Makoto glancing at him but he hardly cares.

And then he sees him, that flash of deep red hair that had been entangled in his fingers the previous night and Haru has to shake his head, trying to shake those thoughts away.

He strides over to Rin, not bothering that Gou is calling after him, clearly annoyed.

'Hey, Rin.' He says offhandedly.

'Nanase.' Rin nods back.

Haru steps closer. 'Rin...' He says softly, not knowing where to go from there.

Rin nods and walks away, leaving Haru standing alone amongst the other boys that he does not know, nor does he wish to.

He goes back to Gou, Makoto, Nagisa and Rei, still not listening to Gou and he wishes he could, she's their manager after all but he just can't focus; he can't see Rin anywhere at all now.

'What was that about?' He can hear Rei whispering to Nagisa.

'I don't know, I guess Haru wanted to clear things up with Rin after what happened the last time we saw him.' Nagisa whispers back.

That's true in a way, Haru supposes, just not the circumstances that Nagisa is thinking of.

'He left.'

Haru turns to Makoto. 'I know.'

'Then why are you still looking for him?'

'I'm not.' And that's true too, partly. He does know that Rin left, so why should he be looking for him?

He's unbelievably thankful when it's his turn to swim, finally in a pool instead of his bath tub, but even then he doesn't feel free, not in the slightest. His mind is swirling with thoughts of Rin, and he can't get them out, not even under the water and he just can't figure out why.

He feels happy when Rei asks to join their team, because that means that he's one step closer to being able to swim all year round but he's still distant, distracted. More so than usual.

Nagisa asks him if he wants to celebrate Rei joining the team with pizza and he politely declines before being dragged back to Nagisa's house by him and Makoto. He stays for only an hour before declaring that he doesn't feel well and he has to retire home.

He's not lying. Sort of. He needs to get home and sleep because maybe then he can understand what the hell happened between him and Rin.

He's barely been back for twenty minutes, however, when there is a knock on his door.

He waits.

'Nanase?'

He opens the door.

'Rin.'

'Haru.'

Same as yesterday so far, but Haru's glad that Rin is here because they _need_ to have a talk.

Talking can wait though, it seems as Rin is barely through the door before he is kissing Haru.

And God help Haru, he's kissing back because he knows what to do this time, and he can't say he _likes_ it exactly but he's sure as hell doing it.

He's not exactly having second thoughts as Rin unties his apron once more (Haru's glad he took his fish off of the heat) if you don't count the 'oh my god, what are you doing?'s.

And that's a complete lie he is most definitely having second thoughts, he wasn't even having first thoughts he had never planned for this to happen ever again but he's not stopping it he's even somewhat leading Rin to the bedroom.

This time he's definitely sure that it was his hands that discarded of Rin's shirt and his mind is screaming no at him but he's not listening, the only thing he can hear is Rin's heavy breathing and his small gasps as Rin nips at his neck.

His sharp teeth are piercing his skin in places and it should hurt, it does, it hurts but it hurts so _good,_ if that can even be said. Can something hurt good?  
Haru doesn't have the time to deliberate because Rin's teeth and tongue are moving down his neck, sucking and biting and it shouldn't feel nice but it does, it so does.

He's still not ready, even though they've done everything, part of him wishes they hadn't. His first time with someone he doesn't love, who doesn't love him, who wasn't there when he woke up.

And he could care less, but right now in this moment he couldn't because this is his _second_ time and it's better.

He's more sure of himself and he's even trying to make Rin feel good, like Rin makes him feel good. His fingertips tracing over Rin's skin, a hand in his hair, he's gathered that Rin likes that, it spurs him on.

Rin's lips are back at Haru's and Haru is lying down, pulling Rin down on top of him, kissing him like he's done it a thousand times and his mind is still screaming no, that Rin should be far away but Haru doesn't want that, not really, does he?

He wants this, doesn't he? He's still not sure, but he's got that feeling again, that one that overwhelms him and completely engulfs every inch of him, clouding the rational side of his brain and only letting him think _Rin._ Feel, hear, taste and see _Rin._ Just Rin and Haru and that's all that matters.

Rin's now kissing down Haru's stomach and taking his swim shorts off again, and Haru can still smell the chlorine on them from today's swim practice, but they're soon gone, still not caring much as Rin carelessly throws them on the floor once more.

And if he'd thought he'd had it all he was so wrong, because now Rin's mouth is so close to him there and he can feel his breath and he's twitching and squirming in anticipation.

Then Rin's lips are around him, and his tongue is swirling around, sucking and humming, pulling off and blowing cool air onto him and flicking his tongue over and God is Haru moaning.

He'd never have thought he could produce such noises, but then again he'd never have thought he could feel so _good._

He'd thought that swimming was it for him, that that was the thing that provided him with the ecstasy and bliss but he'd never felt this.

Felt Rin's mouth on him and this feels better than yesterday, better than it all and Rin is moaning around him and God does that feel good.

He can see that Rin's touching himself and holy crap that's so damn sexy, and that may just be the first thing that's visually turned Haru on before, because god does he want Rin more than ever after seeing that, but his eyes have fallen closed again and all he can see is black. All he can feel is heat. And all he can hear are moans, his own or Rin's he can't tell anymore.

And then it happens, he comes, and Rin swallows every last drop.

He's still shaking but Rin's stroking him again and it's too much it's far too much and he's squirming because he can't take it.

'Rin-' He chokes out, but he's silenced by Rin's lips, and it's then that he realises that Rin is far from done with him yet.

And then he realises that Rin's lips aren't on his anymore and its his own moans he can here because his tongue is somewhere _else_ and if he wasn't ready before he certainly wasn't ready for this, because oh god, this is so disgusting but it feels amazing and Haru can't stop himself and he can even feel his own hand on himself because he's turned on again, and this is what Rin wanted, he realises.

He sits up and flashes a smirk at Haru who is breathlessly shaking on the bed and then he can feel the cold again, the cold which he now knows to be lubrication and he can feel Rin pushing at his entrance and he doesn't protest.

His mind still screams no but he's practically screaming yes as Rin hits that spot again and how could he possibly have thought he didn't want this to happen again?

Rin's moans are low and he grunts a little and it's beautiful, Haru had never seen Rin as beautiful until today, covered in a sheen of sweat, moaning softly and the look on his face, well, Haru could now class Rin most definitely as a completely beautiful creature.

Haru's hand is covering his mouth because he's appalled at the noises tumbling out of his mouth and his eyes are scrunched up because it's still too much and he can feel it again, that twist in his stomach and he's coming again, suddenly and over himself once more, and then that seems to send Rin over the edge because he is filling Haru up once again and collapsing next to him.

Haru turns over and pulls the covers over them and he watches as Rin closes his eyes and he's going to watch him until he leaves but the next thing he knows he's waking up again and it's light and Rin is gone.

III.

Haru had begrudgingly gotten out of bed that morning, with the promise of their own pool being filled and being able to swim so here he was, standing by the pool with his friends and swiftly unbuttoning his jeans and shirt.

He can hear the gasps as he flings his shirt away and he turns to face the shocked faces before him.

'Haruka...' Gou says softly.

'Haru what happened?' Nagisa asks worriedly.

Haru is confused, not having the slightest clue what they're talking about but he glances down, and he can see deep purple marks covering the lower part of his neck and chest, even a few little blood smears from where Rin's teeth had broken the skin.

Haru almost blushes. He can feel his face heating.

'Don't worry about it.' He says and makes to jump into the pool but Nagisa grabs his arm.

'What happened?' He asks again.

'Isn't it obvious?' Rei asks.

'This is _Haru_ we're talking about, Rei, you don't know him like we do. He's not... They're not... I mean...'

'Did you sleep with someone?' Rei asks flatly.

Haru doesn't reply for a moment. 'So what if I did?' He says calmly, before diving into the pool and leaving his completely baffled friends behind.

He's just as confused as they are, he is _Haru_ after all. He hadn't even thought he was capable of feeling anything sexual until Rin had come around.

It was like he was at war with himself, because it was so wrong, he and Rin didn't love each other, nothing like that could happen again but it felt so right, so good and honestly Haru would throw all logic and reason out of the window just to feel Rin's mouth on him again.

'Haru...' Makoto says, taking him to the side as they dry off.

'Yeah?'

'What's going on with you?'

'Nothing.'

'Sleeping with someone? Haru that's not like you.'

'It's my business Makoto, not yours.' Haru snaps.

'Haru I-'

'No, I'm sorry. You're just trying to help, I know that. I've got it all under control.'

'You know you can talk to me about anything.'

Haru nods, and he does know, truly, he just doesn't want to. He escapes having a meet up after school and he goes home, realising that he hasn't eaten dinner in the past two days, having been rather – ahem – _preoccupied._

So he puts some more mackerel in the pan, having had a soak in the bath and still only having his swim trunks and an apron on.

The mackerel has barely had a chance to cook before he hears the knock at his door.

'Nanase?' He hears and promptly takes the fish off of the heat, discarding it on the side before going to answer the door, his stomach twisting in dread and anticipation.

'Rin.' He says, opening the door to let the redhead inside.

'Haru.' Rin replies, capturing Haru's lips and his apron is left in the living room this time, not even making it to the bedroom.

'Are you going to make a habit of this?' Haru asks.

'Of what?'

'Not letting me eat my dinner.'

'Perhaps.' Rin replies, his lips already at Haru's neck.

Haru pushes him back this time, pushing him down on the bed and kissing Rin's neck.

Rin lets out a contented sigh as Haru's teeth nip lightly at his skin.

'You look good with these hickeys, you know, Haru. I should give you some more.'

'I got a slight interrogation.' Haru says, lifting his head to meet Rin's gaze.

Rin laughs. 'I would've loved to see their faces. The great Haruka is a sexual being.'

Is he though?

'I should give you some more, they're so pretty on you.' Rin says, flipping them so that Haru's the one lying down and is soon biting fresh marks into Haru's pale skin, suckling lightly.

Haru moans quietly, muffled by his hand, and his other hand goes to tug at the top of Rin's trousers, pulling them down, leaving Rin just in his boxers.

'Eager today, are we?' Rin asks before licking up a little blood from broken skin on Haru's chest.

Haru doesn't reply, when exactly did this happen? It's only the third time. (He thinks that like there's going to be more times. Are there?)

Rin doesn't waste as much time today, rougher with his kisses all over Haru's torso, his teeth breaking the skin in multiple places but Haru can't find it in him to care; it feels nice.

He doesn't squirm so much when he feels the cold lubrication on Rin's fingers at his entrance and while he hasn't found a way to silence his screaming mind yet, he's just making a point of ignoring it, because he can leave it until the morning to regret tonight.

Rin's everything just feels too damn nice.

It barely hurts him and soon there's three fingers inside of him and he's thinking that he's adjusting to the sex every night (it's only been three times!) and he doesn't care.

He doesn't care.

He doesn't care.

Oh, how he cares. This is so important to him, and not to Rin, and it drives him crazy because to Haru sex isn't just sex, sex is a symbol of love between two people so how can he be lying here a moaning mess as Rin pushes into him, his mouth still on his chest and neck, even leaving love bites up by his ears.

There's no way the others wont see that, they're going to have a real shock in practice tomorrow, his chest is all bruised and cut up and Haru loves it.

He hates it.

He loves it.

It's driving him insane because this is going against everything he believes in, that he wanted to save himself for someone he truly loves and here he is, acting like a little whore for Rin, because Rin can reduce him to this; moaning and writhing on the sheets and twisting them between his fists as Rin hits him _right there._

Haru's hands are now gripping tightly in Rin's mass of burgundy locks, pulling a little and he knows that Rin loves it; he's moaning into Haru's neck and biting just that little bit harder.

'Rin-' Haru moans, not going anywhere with it, and it hangs in the air like fog, because the gravity of the situation never hits Haru until morning, when Rin is gone and he's left with remnants of the night before.

Haru's neck is stinging now, and he doesn't know whether to curse or thank those unusually sharp teeth of Rin's, but his tongue is there, lapping at the cuts, and it feels good.

The angle of Rin's thrusts changes slightly and Haru scrapes his nails down Rin's back in pleasure.

'No.' Rin growls. 'You don't mark me, Haruka.' And he takes Haru's wrists in his hand and holds them above Haru's head.

'Rin...' He whines, not entirely sure whether its out of pleasure or want for his hands back, he wants to be able to touch Rin, have his hands in his hair, feel Rin's burning skin beneath his fingertips and Rin's thrusting faster as he draws closer and Haru is desperate, he's twisting his wrists in Rin's grip but he won't let go, gripping them so tightly in his single hand Haru's sure he might leave light bruising.

'I'm gonna try something slightly different, Haru.' Rin says and Haru nods, Rin's then back at his neck and thrusting deeper and Haru wonders just how Rin can elicit this response from Haru, moaning out his name as he comes, spilling over his stomach.

Then Rin pulls out of him and uses his hand to finish himself off, and he too comes, spurting his come over Haru's stomach too.

And then Rin lays down next to Haru, and he kisses down his chest and stomach, with come on his lips he kisses Haru, and Haru doesn't know if he likes that.

Rin lays down and closes his eyes, and Haru uses the closest thing to him to wipe his stomach before closing his eyes too.

'Why are you never here when I wake up?' Haru asks, but there is no response. And as it turns out, he had fallen asleep and now he's woken up and Rin is not in sight.

However, his shirt is, covered in the come that Haru had wiped off of his chest the previous night.

IV.

Haru barely manages to drag himself out of bed, knowing just how bad his torso is going to be and dreading the reaction from his friends.

He can't miss swim practice though.

So with a heavy heart he makes his way to school, the love bite below his ear incredibly purple and visible to everyone, not hidden by his shirt like the others and Nagisa questions him as soon as he sees him.

'Is that another hickey, Haru?' He asks with a frown.

Haru doesn't reply, his stomach twisting into a knot as he thinks of the vast amount of deep crimson and purple bruises and cuts that are currently being hidden by his shirt that will be revealed to all of his friends later.

Time goes by too quickly and Haru can't ever remember a time where he was dreading swimming, but he physically feels sick because he's looked in the mirror and it's bad. Really bad.

He decides that cursing Rin's sharp teeth was the appropriate choice.

He feels sick and he hates it. How can he let himself do this? He doesn't love Rin and Rin most certainly doesn't love him and what is it leaving him with? Cuts, bruises and the most confused he's ever been in his whole life.

He can see alarm bells going off in Makoto's head when Haru is the last to undress and the slowly takes his shirt off, wincing at the sharp gasps as they all see.

'Oh my god, Haru.'

He can hear a number of exclamations and he doesn't look to see who they're coming from, he just dives straight in and stays under for as long as he possibly can before resurfacing to see every single one of them still staring at him.

The practice seems to drag on and he's so glad when it's over.

He hates that Rin can make him feel like this about swimming.

And he almost rolls his eyes when Makoto takes him to the side.

'Are you being safe, Haru?'

'What?'

'Your chest, Haru that looks painful, are you being safe? I need to make sure you're okay, no one's forcing you into anything, right?'

'Maybe I just enjoy rough sex, Makoto.' Haru says and walks away, leaving a gaping Makoto behind him.

Makoto goes back to the others, who are waiting expectantly.

'He didn't say anything. I asked him if he was being safe and he just left. I'm worried.'

'Let's follow him.' Nagisa suggests.

'That's not a bad idea.' Rei responds.

'Follow him?'

'Just to make sure he's safe and he's consenting. This isn't like Haru at all, and he's all closed up about it.'

'Alright, we'll follow him tonight, but we have to be careful.' Makoto agrees.

They stay at a distance and hide in the bushes outside of Haru's house after he has returned there, making sure to stay quiet (with a lot of shushing on Makoto and Rei's part).

It's dark by the time anything happens, they see a figure walking up the path and have to hold their gasps at who they see.

He knocks once.

'Nanase?' He calls.

Haru opens the door, in just his swim shorts and an apron.

'Rin.'

'Haru.'

Rin starts to kiss Haru before they've even gotten through the front door this time, and as Makoto, Nagisa and Rei peer through the window they see Rin untying Haru's apron and tossing it onto the floor, their hands all over each other.

The three of them slump down, shocked.

'Rin.'

'That would explain his chest, all the hickeys, with Rin's teeth.'

'So Haru and Rin are dating then.'

'Why didn't he tell us about this?' Nagisa whines.

'Shush.' Rei scolds.

They get up, to go home, and Makoto takes a quick peer through the bedroom window, seeing them making quick work of removing each other's clothes.

'Did you hear that?' Haru asks, stopping.

'Hear what?'

Haru is silent for a moment. 'Nothing, don't worry.'

'Well don't interrupt me again.' He smirks. 'You're so pretty Haru, what I wouldn't give to have seen their faces today.'

'They were worried about me. Thought someone was hurting me and I wasn't consenting.'

'Well then those idiots are wrong, you love it.'

Haru doesn't reply but lets his eyes flutter closed as he feels Rin's lips on his neck again and it hurts a little as he presses his teeth gently into cuts and bruises so Haru shoves him off a little.

'Let me.' Haru says.

'I wasn't done yet.'

'I want to make you feel good.'

'You're such a slut, Haruka.' Rin says with a wide smile, laying down on the bed, fully naked.

Haru winces as Rin brushes his fingertips over his chest, and he thinks that he needs to keep Rin away from his torso tonight.

Haru brings his mouth down between Rin's legs and gulps, not sure of whether to continue. He bites his lip, darting his tongue out to lick it a little, Rin sighs and Haru wraps his lips around it, trying to copy the things that Rin had been doing to him.

He hums around him and Rin moans, Haru sucks up the sides and flicks his tongue over the tip, getting good responses from Rin.

'Haru, I'm close.' He breathes, pulling Haru off of him and pushing him down onto the bed.

He's at Haru's entrance, minimal lube on him and he's thrusting quickly in, moving to kiss and nip at Haru's neck and chest.

Haru cries out in pain as Rin's teeth break already broken skin and he tries to push him off.

'What are you doing?' Rin snarls, thrusting in harder, making Haru moan.

'Let's tr-y something els-e.'

'I wasn't finished yet, Nanase.' Rin says. 'Try something else, huh?' He pulls out of Haru and flips him harshly over, pushing him down again and thrusting back into him, striking his hand across Haru's backside.

Haru cries out and Rin must mistake it for pleasure, but Haru isn't enjoying this.

'You're such a slut, Haru, you love this don't you?' He snarls, slapping him again and again until he is red raw and leaking come onto the bed sheets.

'My little whore though, all mine, Haru. You think you can be in charge and tell me what to do? You thought wrong, Nanase.'

He pulls out of Haru and straddles his chest, shoving himself into Haru's mouth, thrusting harshly into the back of Haru's mouth until Haru is gagging around him and there are tears on his face and Rin is thrusting himself further down Haru's throat.

'Fuck, Haru.' He groans, holding Haru's hair tightly and ramming himself into Haru's mouth. 'Such a pretty little mouth you have there.' He says, slapping Haru's cheek and Haru cries out but all it does is vibrate around Rin, sending him over the edge and shooting streams of come straight down Haru's throat.

'Who do you belong to, Haruka?'

'You.' He chokes out, turning over and pulling the duvet around him, not wanting to make any more eye contact with Rin, seeing that look he had gotten in his eyes and never wanting to see it again.

Rin doesn't leave straight away, as usual, but this time Haru is awake until he does leave, watches him in the dark room as he gathers his clothes and slips quietly out the house.

Consenting?

Had he consented to that?

Haru doesn't know anymore and so he lets sleep take him, far too tired to comprehend anything properly.

X.

Haru calls in sick the next day, looking at himself in the mirror and feeling disgusted; there are cuts and bruises all over him, bruises on his backside and he hates them.

Rin might think they're pretty but they're not.

They're most definitely not.

He feels sick, that part wasn't a lie, he really does. He stays in bed, not bothering to throw away the uncooked mackerel from the night before, the night when he had even dared to anticipate Rin coming over.

And he had enjoyed it, but the fact is that he hadn't consented to being hurt, whether he liked it or not is completely immaterial. He spends the day thinking about it, thinking about Rin and he doesn't know what to say when Makoto, Nagisa and Rei phone him on speaker.

'We can all come over to see you!' Nagisa suggests.

'I think I might be contagious.' Haru lies. 'I'd leave it a little bit, I'll see you guys at school anyway.'

'You must be really sick to miss swim practice.'

 _'Are you okay, Haru?'_ Makoto asks and he knows that he knows, knows something is wrong because Haru wouldn't miss swimming for the world.

'Yes. I'm just sick, I promise.' He says, and he sounds convincing.

He chokes up with tears as he puts the phone down because Makoto cares and Haru lies, and Rin couldn't care less, just uses Haru like he's a toy, and he likes it.

That's the part that's tearing him apart; Rin abused him and he liked it.

He doesn't even sit in the bath because he'd have to look at his chest. He does briefly take his pyjama top off (pyjamas he'd changed into that morning) to put some cream on his chest to hopefully heal the cuts quicker.

He sits in bed doing nothing for hours, catches up on a little sleep, but his sleep is disturbed and he doesn't feel rested at all.

He barely notices that the sun has gone down and it's dark but he hears the knock.

'Nanase?'

He hears the next knock.

And the next.

'Haru, if you don't open this door, I swear to-' He must have realised that Haru keeps the door unlocked because he stops talking and he hears footsteps.

He comes into Haru's room and his gaze softens at pyjama-clad Haru curled up in bed.

'Haru?' Rin says softly, and Haru glances at him.

'Rin.'

'You didn't open the door.'

'I didn't want to.'

'Why not?' He does seem genuinely concerned and it's killing Haru.

He doesn't say anything and looks away.

'I'm sorry about last night, really I am, Haru, I am so sorry. I didn't ask your permission and I abused your trust and I'm sorry.'

'It's alright.'

'It is?'

'That's not why I left you out there.'

'It isn't?' Rin seems legitimately surprised and he sits on the bed next to Haru, taking his shoes off.

'No. I was scared.'

'Haru, I'm so-'

'Of myself.'

Rin is silent for a moment. 'Of yourself?'

Haru nods. 'Because you're right, you did abuse my trust and that wasn't consensual but the thing is, Rin... I enjoyed it. Being used like that, I liked it and it scares me because it hurt, and I've been hurting all day today I didn't go to school and I missed swim practice because I'm hurting all over, everywhere. I can't even walk properly. But I'd do it all over again because you make me feel so good, Rin, it's terrifying and I don't know what to do.'

Rin doesn't know what to say, so he climbs into bed next to Haru. 'You can get some sleep, you look exhausted.'

'I am.'

'Sleep then, Haruka.'

'Why are you never here when I wake up?' Haru asks, and he's wrapped up in the duvet and his voice is small and his eyes are wide and he sounds vulnerable.

'I didn't think you'd want me to be.'

'I want you to be.' Haru replies, not even knowing until now that this was what he wanted.

'Then I will be.'

'Hold me.' Haru says so quietly that it's a wonder that Rin hears it, but he does and he lies down too, and he wraps his arms around Haru with a soft kiss to his cheek and Haru's breathing soon evens out as he sleeps.

Haru's eyes flutter open and he glances to the other side of the bed; empty.

He wills his eyes not to well up but they do and it's partly because of the sleep dust in them and partly because he'd let his guard down and asked Rin to stay and he'd left him.

He doesn't cry, no, not today, but he lets out a desperate sigh of unhappiness, wondering if it was when he and Rin started sleeping together that he began feeling like this.

Then suddenly a head pops around the door.

'Rin.' Haru breathes.

'Hey, Haru. Sorry I wasn't there for you to wake up to, I hope you weren't too disappointed.' He says with an almost shy smile and for a second he looks like the little boy that Haru once knew.

'It's okay, where were you?'

'Well I thought it was about time you got that mackerel. Not that exact mackerel, of course, but I cooked you a fresh one. Breakfast in bed?'

'Sounds lovely.' Haru replies, wondering if he's going to wake up in a moment to an empty bed and bites on his chest.

Rin comes back in a matter of seconds, carrying two trays of mackerel, and climbs back into bed, pulling the duvet up around them both.

He and Haru sit close together; their shoulders touching and they eat the mackerel, not talking much but with a comfortable silence between them.

Rin carries the trays out and gets back into bed, arms around Haru once more but this time, Haru faces Rin, his face buried in his chest.

Rin presses a gentle kiss to Haru's forehead and the corners of Haru's lips turn upwards slightly and he sighs contentedly, leaning into Rin's chest.

Haru is quickly asleep and Rin watches over him for a little while, before sleep claims him too.

'We knew you both were dating!' The next thing they are aware of is Nagisa's voice and the presence of Makoto, Nagisa and Rei in Haru's bedroom.

Haru shoots up, still in Rin's arms and blinks at the three intruders.

'We- We're not dating.' Haru says softly, rubbing his eyes.

'You're... Not?' Rei asks, surprised.

Rin turns to Haru, and smiles softly at him.

'Yes we are.'

Haru looks at Rin, wide eyed. 'We are?'

Rin nods and kisses his forehead.

'You can go now.' Haru says coldly to the other three who ashamed and red-faced back out of the room. Haru watches them walk down the path and then practically leaps on Rin, kissing him gently.

'So we're dating now?' Haru asks with a small smile.

'Would you want to?' Rin asks shyly.

'I didn't even know I wanted you to be my boyfriend until you said it, Rin, but I do. So much.'

'Then be my boyfriend, Haruka Nanase.'

Haru smiles and kisses him.

Rin smiles and wraps his arms around Haru, kissing him back equally as softly.

'Hey Rin?' Haru asks, glancing up from his boyfriend's arms.

'Yes?'

'You never told me why you came here, that first day.'

'Honestly? I don't even know, Haru, there's always been something drawing me to you, I just can't seem to leave you alone, and I suppose now I know why.' He laughs softly, leaning down to gently kiss Haru.

* * *

 **Can I just say I wrote and edited this in one sitting? 7 hours of my life I'll never get back...**

 **I don't know what happened... It was meant to be a little melancholy and descriptive and pretty and Harus thoughts and feelings and then the part where Haru tells Rin that he's who he swims for he was meant to confess his love there...**

 **but then Rin was shoving his dick down Harus throat and I don't even know how that happened but it did**

 **i loved this at first but I don't know anymore**

 **Feedback is greatly greatly appreciated**


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